Friday night Isaac and I went to the launch party for Rock & Sling, a journal that Whitworth University recently took over after it stopped publication a while back. One of my poems was published in the first new issue, so that's one of the main reasons we went to the reading/reception event, but I write about it to talk about how Isaac and I are getting folded into this crazy interconnected small-world community.
So we walk into Auntie's Bookstore. First person we see is our pastor, sitting up on the top floor where the reading was going to be. As we're waving, we run into one of Isaac's professors from Spokane Community College. He was also one of Thom Caraway's professors before Thom got his MFA at Eastern. Upstairs, we say hi to Thom Caraway, editor of Rock & Sling, who also happens to go to our church (which we found out months after my poem was accepted). His friend sitting next to him, an English professor at Gonzaga University, also goes to our church and was also published in the issue. When we find a spot to sit, we bump into my cousin Natalie's roommate Katie, who's an intern with Rock & Sling. Then a couple from our church small group. After a few people read, my professor, Chris Howell, gets up and reads some of his poetry. He was also published in this issue (which I was delighted to find out when I picked the journal up at AWP last week). After the reading, we stop to talk to Kristina and Ann, friends from school. A few more friends from school say hi on our way out.
Now, Spokane is not a small town. Small city, maybe, but a city nonetheless. Isaac and I are astonished and overwhelmed by how tight-knit and interconnected the community is and how easy it has been to become a part of it. It's almost like God planned for us to be here ;)
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Catch up day
Ok, wow, lots to talk about.
First, on the whole marriage thing. Isaac and I have been through quite the journey over the past 2 years since we first met, as everyone reading this probably knows. Throughout our whole relationship, I've been waiting for some miraculous "aha" moment where I suddenly knew he was "the one" for me. Honestly, it never happened. We have struggled a ton with my doubt issues, we broke up over the summer, we analyzed everything from every angle, we talked everything to death, we've prayed and prayed and prayed. Really, we've been through the wringer. Since moving to Spokane and giving our relationship another serious go, God has been working in really amazing ways, reshaping my idealism and expectations for marriage and a "soul mate," teaching us what His plan really is for marriage, how it's so much bigger than just finding happiness in each other. We've been overwhelmingly blessed by community--from our families and friends who've known us for years to our new church family in Spokane to counselors with an objective and godly perspective of marriage. Will I ever really be "sure" the way I thought I'd be? Will I be totally free of fear about marriage? I don't think so. But do I know that Isaac is an incredible man of God, that he challenges and supports me, that I love Christ more because of him, that our life vision fits together, that we have fun together, that we can make it through anything? Yes. It's still scary and overwhelming sometimes to think about spending the rest of my life with one person, but I'm becoming more and more ready--and, miraculously, even excited--to make that commitment. It's a huge lesson in trust and hard work.
Second, on the proposal. Because everyone asks me about it and apparently it's pretty important ;) I told Isaac that I was finally ready, that if he proposed I would say yes, and that weekend (since he wasn't going to waste any time!), he made lunch for us at his apartment. He said he had a video to show me, and it was a song he had written and then sang and played on the guitar (which I posted a few days ago). After we watched it and he sang along with it, he got down on one knee and asked if I would marry him. I said yes and cried (it was fairly nerve-racking for me), and he gave me a toy "engagement elephant" (we had decided to pick out rings together). Emotionally, it was different than I'd always imagined. So many crazy emotions. I was instantly overwhelmed and not excited about calling everyone to tell them. It took me a couple days to just let it sink in before I even got excited and was ready to talk about it. Now I'm pretty excited :) and only sometimes overwhelmed by the idea of planning.
Third, on doing things differently. Our friends Erica and Aaron agree that Isaac and I are and will be a couple who do things in a unique way, and I love that idea, as difficult as it is at times. Our relationship for me has been marked by a painful stripping away of all my expectations: What, dating is not about finding someone who fulfills me? He's not perfect? It's ok that I still fight anxiety? We don't have to look or feel like other couples? Love isn't a consistent feeling but a continual commitment? Engagement isn't mainly to plan a wedding but to prepare for a new life? Nothing has looked like I thought, but I know God has unique plans for us that are so much deeper than I could have imagined.
I'm having an interesting battle with American culture right now, a little frustrated that a wedding is supposed to look a certain way. Part of me wants to get swept up in planning--and after all, a healthy dose of excitement is a great thing--but mostly we're really thinking through wedding traditions, from diamond rings to $500 dresses to bridal showers, and trying to figure out which parts we shouldn't just pitch out the window. Our conclusion is that a wedding is not about me looking great in a dress but about inviting our loved ones into a celebration of what God has done and is going to do in us together for the rest of our lives. That's a pretty big reason to have a party.
Fourth, on the rest of life. Insane. Like 7:30 am-10:30 pm every weekday with maybe an hour break. Which is why I haven't really blogged since school started up again. My new GSA job in the Writers' Center is going well, though a little difficult because I don't have much instruction and have to basically make up my own projects. The Getlit! internship is as busy as usual, with my big deadline coming up at the end of January. My other internship with Willow Springs Books is pretty slow right now. Workshop is exhausting. Yoga's good. Rock climbing's good. Church is great. Zumba is fun. Friends are wonderful. Wedding planning is sort of just there, simmering.
First, on the whole marriage thing. Isaac and I have been through quite the journey over the past 2 years since we first met, as everyone reading this probably knows. Throughout our whole relationship, I've been waiting for some miraculous "aha" moment where I suddenly knew he was "the one" for me. Honestly, it never happened. We have struggled a ton with my doubt issues, we broke up over the summer, we analyzed everything from every angle, we talked everything to death, we've prayed and prayed and prayed. Really, we've been through the wringer. Since moving to Spokane and giving our relationship another serious go, God has been working in really amazing ways, reshaping my idealism and expectations for marriage and a "soul mate," teaching us what His plan really is for marriage, how it's so much bigger than just finding happiness in each other. We've been overwhelmingly blessed by community--from our families and friends who've known us for years to our new church family in Spokane to counselors with an objective and godly perspective of marriage. Will I ever really be "sure" the way I thought I'd be? Will I be totally free of fear about marriage? I don't think so. But do I know that Isaac is an incredible man of God, that he challenges and supports me, that I love Christ more because of him, that our life vision fits together, that we have fun together, that we can make it through anything? Yes. It's still scary and overwhelming sometimes to think about spending the rest of my life with one person, but I'm becoming more and more ready--and, miraculously, even excited--to make that commitment. It's a huge lesson in trust and hard work.
Second, on the proposal. Because everyone asks me about it and apparently it's pretty important ;) I told Isaac that I was finally ready, that if he proposed I would say yes, and that weekend (since he wasn't going to waste any time!), he made lunch for us at his apartment. He said he had a video to show me, and it was a song he had written and then sang and played on the guitar (which I posted a few days ago). After we watched it and he sang along with it, he got down on one knee and asked if I would marry him. I said yes and cried (it was fairly nerve-racking for me), and he gave me a toy "engagement elephant" (we had decided to pick out rings together). Emotionally, it was different than I'd always imagined. So many crazy emotions. I was instantly overwhelmed and not excited about calling everyone to tell them. It took me a couple days to just let it sink in before I even got excited and was ready to talk about it. Now I'm pretty excited :) and only sometimes overwhelmed by the idea of planning.
Third, on doing things differently. Our friends Erica and Aaron agree that Isaac and I are and will be a couple who do things in a unique way, and I love that idea, as difficult as it is at times. Our relationship for me has been marked by a painful stripping away of all my expectations: What, dating is not about finding someone who fulfills me? He's not perfect? It's ok that I still fight anxiety? We don't have to look or feel like other couples? Love isn't a consistent feeling but a continual commitment? Engagement isn't mainly to plan a wedding but to prepare for a new life? Nothing has looked like I thought, but I know God has unique plans for us that are so much deeper than I could have imagined.
I'm having an interesting battle with American culture right now, a little frustrated that a wedding is supposed to look a certain way. Part of me wants to get swept up in planning--and after all, a healthy dose of excitement is a great thing--but mostly we're really thinking through wedding traditions, from diamond rings to $500 dresses to bridal showers, and trying to figure out which parts we shouldn't just pitch out the window. Our conclusion is that a wedding is not about me looking great in a dress but about inviting our loved ones into a celebration of what God has done and is going to do in us together for the rest of our lives. That's a pretty big reason to have a party.
Fourth, on the rest of life. Insane. Like 7:30 am-10:30 pm every weekday with maybe an hour break. Which is why I haven't really blogged since school started up again. My new GSA job in the Writers' Center is going well, though a little difficult because I don't have much instruction and have to basically make up my own projects. The Getlit! internship is as busy as usual, with my big deadline coming up at the end of January. My other internship with Willow Springs Books is pretty slow right now. Workshop is exhausting. Yoga's good. Rock climbing's good. Church is great. Zumba is fun. Friends are wonderful. Wedding planning is sort of just there, simmering.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Decisions...
I have plenty of things stored up to say about proposal, engagement, emotions, plans, wedding, marriage, craziness, etc etc etc...but no time. For now I'd love some input... Isaac and I trying to decide what ring route to go. We both really like these awesome socially/environmentally "friendly" wood rings--as well as the fabulous couple who makes them--but I'm a bit nervous because, well, they're wood.
Then there's the more traditional route. I'd want a wedding band with diamonds/sapphires in it (no engagement ring); Isaac would get a standard (tungsten?) band. The diamonds and sapphires in these ones also have ethical origins (Canada, haha).
Here are pics. What do you think??
wood with eilat stone (on the right)
wood with lapis lazuli stone
diamonds and sapphires
sapphires
Then there's the more traditional route. I'd want a wedding band with diamonds/sapphires in it (no engagement ring); Isaac would get a standard (tungsten?) band. The diamonds and sapphires in these ones also have ethical origins (Canada, haha).
Here are pics. What do you think??
wood with eilat stone (on the right)
wood with lapis lazuli stone
diamonds and sapphires
sapphiresThursday, January 6, 2011
Old, Old House
As much as I like the charm of living in a super old house, I'm over all the winter issues it's having. My pipes have broken once and frozen twice; my hot water has stopped; the washing machine is out of order due to flooding. I've had water less often than I haven't, it seems.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Bipolar Winter
You'd think I could stop talking about weather, but I can't. It sounds like everyone across the country is having an insane winter, though. We had a wonderful time in Minnesota.... It was mostly relaxed--a warm, spacious house; plenty of cookies; nightly movie-watching--but we also went snowshoeing a couple times and hung out with a few of my friends (sledding, exploring downtown's miles of skyways). Minnesota has had record-breaking snow (usually it's cold but not super snowy).
We returned yesterday to a frigid (and also very snowy) Spokane--the high was 9 degrees in the middle of the day. My apartment was literally freezing, and even with both my tiny heaters on full blast for 24 hours, it's still not warm. The roads are lethal skating rinks (oh, for the clean roads of Minnesota!); as I write this, I hear car after car spinning out at the intersection with a shrieking sound.
I'm trying to be positive, but I'm not thrilled for this next year. I'm fed up with winter, I'm anxious about school, I'm already starting this quarter behind in my work, I'm cramming too much into my schedule. Happy 2011.
We returned yesterday to a frigid (and also very snowy) Spokane--the high was 9 degrees in the middle of the day. My apartment was literally freezing, and even with both my tiny heaters on full blast for 24 hours, it's still not warm. The roads are lethal skating rinks (oh, for the clean roads of Minnesota!); as I write this, I hear car after car spinning out at the intersection with a shrieking sound.
I'm trying to be positive, but I'm not thrilled for this next year. I'm fed up with winter, I'm anxious about school, I'm already starting this quarter behind in my work, I'm cramming too much into my schedule. Happy 2011.
Friday, December 17, 2010
It's Spring!
All my blabbering about winter, and now the snow's melted, it feels like spring, and I feel like a whiner. We've had several sunny days scattered over the last couple weeks, and it's WONDERFUL to be able to see mountains again, not to mention the sky!
Winter break has been fairly busy so far. Put in about 20 hours of work for GetLit!, went to several events/meetings/things/parties, finished Christmas shopping and mailing. Yesterday, though, Isaac treated me to a "me" day--went with me to run some errands, took me to breakfast, hung out while I worked and watched Project Runway, made dinner and watched a movie...so perfect--he is SOOOO good to me, even though I'm often such a selfish brat.
Exciting news--Isaac and I are going to Minnesota for Christmas! It was a last-minute change of plans, and we are both really looking forward to it. Not that it wouldn't have been fun to spend it here in Spokane, though.
Winter break has been fairly busy so far. Put in about 20 hours of work for GetLit!, went to several events/meetings/things/parties, finished Christmas shopping and mailing. Yesterday, though, Isaac treated me to a "me" day--went with me to run some errands, took me to breakfast, hung out while I worked and watched Project Runway, made dinner and watched a movie...so perfect--he is SOOOO good to me, even though I'm often such a selfish brat.
Exciting news--Isaac and I are going to Minnesota for Christmas! It was a last-minute change of plans, and we are both really looking forward to it. Not that it wouldn't have been fun to spend it here in Spokane, though.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Snow Pics
Check out my new pics. They're pretty!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2057912&id=110900370&l=e5a094a334
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2057912&id=110900370&l=e5a094a334
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