My first day of classes went surprisingly smoothly. I was less nervous than I thought I’d be and I didn’t have to stall for time too badly. I think the main challenge will be having enough material and enough variety to fill each 2-hour class. I’m working on coming up with activities and games to provide relief from all the lessons. All the main curriculum is provided for me. Every day students must write several sentences from words provided, practice the sound of the day (for example, th vs. d), and work through reading activities in a workbook. There are 4 short essays and crossword puzzles and 2 exams as well.
My students’ names (most people use nicknames; even Rung’s real name is Rungrudi/Lungludi): Kong, Tui, Jam, Pisamai, Afaf. They are all in their 20s or older, some students but mostly they work or are looking for work.
It is odd having a ten-hour break between classes. Unstructured time can be stressful for me, so I set several tangible “challenges” for myself, like going grocery shopping, planning some class parties, and figuring out the post office. I’m hoping to take Thai classes, so that will help. This morning after class I had breakfast with some students (cashew chicken and rice; not the breakfast I’m used to), played Phase 10 with them, and then had lunch with some other students. There are always people around Santisuk, so when I get hungry, I plan to hang out around there until someone invites me to eat with them.
I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be to communicate mostly in very basic English every day and spend lots of time listening to a language I only know a few words in (sawatdeeka=hello/goodbye, kobkunka=thank you, chieu(l)alai=what’s your name, mai phet=not spicy, ar(l)oy=delicious). It is as hard to think and speak in simple English as it is to read and discuss really lofty technical English.
When I think too far in advance, it stresses me out. Right now, I can’t imagine having to get up at 6, teach two classes, and figure out what to do for 10 hours and three meals for the next three days. Let alone doing something similar for three months. One day at a time. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so challenged as I do here. At least I can say that I didn’t take the easy road. I am totally out of my element. I’m exactly opposite my element.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Crises
I've still been going through a lot of ups and downs. Many times a day I ask myself what I'm doing here and how I possibly thought it was a good idea to come. I'm so anxious and so focused on myself I don't think I'll be good at building relationships with my students or helping or serving anyone. Everyone else seems to know what they're doing, or to have someone else to be bummed with, or to be so independent that they flit around without a second thought. I start teaching tomorrow (my classes are 7-9 a.m. and 7-9 p.m...awesome) and I'm totally freaked out.
I'll try to keep the emo stuff short on the blog posts and focus more on descriptive things and stories.
Yesterday was a good day; I should have written yesterday because I was happy and creative. Rung took me along to the Bang Sue train station (we took a bus and the subway to get there), where she teaches English to the kids whose parents sell food when the trains come in. It was a lot poorer than what I've seen so far in Bangkok but still not quite reminiscent of Mombasa. Then we went to this huge weekend market at Jeje Park, which I think Bangkok is famous for. HUGE HUGE HUGE. Never seen so much shopping in my entire life. I'm not in a shopping mood quite yet, but I'll keep in mind that if I want ANYTHING for under $5, I'm all set. There were so many foreigners there, too, Europeans and Koreans mostly, and I LOVED people-watching. Then we took the light rail downtown to see a few HUGE HUGE HUGE fancy fancy fancy malls (there are 10 in this one area) and eat lunch. And then took the water taxi back to Bangkapi (Bangkok is super huge and the area Santisuk is in is kind of on the outskirts...well not really but it's not downtown), walked along the canal past a pretty temple and a mosque, and took a little tuk-tuk-like "subalu" back to the apartment. Then last night there was a farewell dinner for one of the staff who is moving to Vietnam, and we ate traditional food--grilled fish, noodles, clams, and sweet and sour peanut sauce wrapped in lettuce leaves--sitting on the floor. I got to talk to some new people and some people I'm starting to get to know. I'm FINALLY remembering names, which is hard because there are some letters that exist in Thai that don't in English, and vice versa. So there is Kwahn/Gwang and Sally/Saree and Rung/Loong (and the r-l thing isn't to make fun of Asian accents--l and r really are interchangeable). Some of my favorite people here are the Filipina missionaries, Ethel and Joy. They speak amazing English and are a lot of fun. And they both know Martha :)
Anyway, I am going to meet Rung for dinner (she's taking me to get bak, or worms, haha). I'm glad this post turned out much happier than I actually feel.
I'll try to keep the emo stuff short on the blog posts and focus more on descriptive things and stories.
Yesterday was a good day; I should have written yesterday because I was happy and creative. Rung took me along to the Bang Sue train station (we took a bus and the subway to get there), where she teaches English to the kids whose parents sell food when the trains come in. It was a lot poorer than what I've seen so far in Bangkok but still not quite reminiscent of Mombasa. Then we went to this huge weekend market at Jeje Park, which I think Bangkok is famous for. HUGE HUGE HUGE. Never seen so much shopping in my entire life. I'm not in a shopping mood quite yet, but I'll keep in mind that if I want ANYTHING for under $5, I'm all set. There were so many foreigners there, too, Europeans and Koreans mostly, and I LOVED people-watching. Then we took the light rail downtown to see a few HUGE HUGE HUGE fancy fancy fancy malls (there are 10 in this one area) and eat lunch. And then took the water taxi back to Bangkapi (Bangkok is super huge and the area Santisuk is in is kind of on the outskirts...well not really but it's not downtown), walked along the canal past a pretty temple and a mosque, and took a little tuk-tuk-like "subalu" back to the apartment. Then last night there was a farewell dinner for one of the staff who is moving to Vietnam, and we ate traditional food--grilled fish, noodles, clams, and sweet and sour peanut sauce wrapped in lettuce leaves--sitting on the floor. I got to talk to some new people and some people I'm starting to get to know. I'm FINALLY remembering names, which is hard because there are some letters that exist in Thai that don't in English, and vice versa. So there is Kwahn/Gwang and Sally/Saree and Rung/Loong (and the r-l thing isn't to make fun of Asian accents--l and r really are interchangeable). Some of my favorite people here are the Filipina missionaries, Ethel and Joy. They speak amazing English and are a lot of fun. And they both know Martha :)
Anyway, I am going to meet Rung for dinner (she's taking me to get bak, or worms, haha). I'm glad this post turned out much happier than I actually feel.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
29 hours down!
Because this will probably only be my really free time before I launch into a busy schedule, and because so much is changing every single minute, and because I have internet in the air-conditioned library at Santisuk, I'm going to blog twice in one day.
Today got a lot better after 12:30 p.m. While Rung was at appointments and work, I stayed in the apartment in the morning and called Isaac and my parents (using precious minutes on my Thai phone...it's worth it) and cried and read and journaled and fell asleep again. Then I got my act together and ventured out into the neighborhood. I walked a little less than a mile down one side of the street, explored a Costco-esque grocery store, walked into and out of the mall, felt overwhelmed, walked down the other direction and found a coffee shop my dad had mentioned. Coffee (and a somewhat familiar coffee-shop atmosphere) made everything better, and I made a list of things I am thankful for. Here are some of them:
-small accomplishments, figuring out one thing at a time
-people here who welcome me
-the incredible blessing of having the resources to come here and stay so long
-the opportunity to serve others and grow in my relationship with God
-finally feeling like writing!
-REALLY supportive family, friends, and boyfriend
-internet access and some phone access
-a chance to be challenged professionally
-a home in a strange city and a Thai roommate to show me the ropes
-cheap living expenses
-excitement to get comfortable here
-independence and maturity, seeing how much I've changed over the years
-a worldview that encourages me to travel and learn and do things that are hard
-God's incredible grace, blessing, and strength. He is all I need.
-a church to automatically be a part of
-appreciation for Isaac because he wouldn't be afraid to venture out and order food and make mistakes
-SO much to explore still!
-learning about myself (for example, I love observing but am afraid of engaging)
-being a minority again...for real, not like in Hawaii...but being stared at a LOT less than I would in Kenya
-seeing pretty Thai writing on signs
-knowing I'll have a real schedule soon, for the first time in a year and a half
-freedom from fear and anxiety, if I'm willing to accept it and let go of my own control
-knowing it's only four months here and not longer
-laundry washed, line-dried, and folded by someone else for less than a dollar
I'm sure I'll go through a million crises in the next few months, but I think I'll make it.
Today got a lot better after 12:30 p.m. While Rung was at appointments and work, I stayed in the apartment in the morning and called Isaac and my parents (using precious minutes on my Thai phone...it's worth it) and cried and read and journaled and fell asleep again. Then I got my act together and ventured out into the neighborhood. I walked a little less than a mile down one side of the street, explored a Costco-esque grocery store, walked into and out of the mall, felt overwhelmed, walked down the other direction and found a coffee shop my dad had mentioned. Coffee (and a somewhat familiar coffee-shop atmosphere) made everything better, and I made a list of things I am thankful for. Here are some of them:
-small accomplishments, figuring out one thing at a time
-people here who welcome me
-the incredible blessing of having the resources to come here and stay so long
-the opportunity to serve others and grow in my relationship with God
-finally feeling like writing!
-REALLY supportive family, friends, and boyfriend
-internet access and some phone access
-a chance to be challenged professionally
-a home in a strange city and a Thai roommate to show me the ropes
-cheap living expenses
-excitement to get comfortable here
-independence and maturity, seeing how much I've changed over the years
-a worldview that encourages me to travel and learn and do things that are hard
-God's incredible grace, blessing, and strength. He is all I need.
-a church to automatically be a part of
-appreciation for Isaac because he wouldn't be afraid to venture out and order food and make mistakes
-SO much to explore still!
-learning about myself (for example, I love observing but am afraid of engaging)
-being a minority again...for real, not like in Hawaii...but being stared at a LOT less than I would in Kenya
-seeing pretty Thai writing on signs
-knowing I'll have a real schedule soon, for the first time in a year and a half
-freedom from fear and anxiety, if I'm willing to accept it and let go of my own control
-knowing it's only four months here and not longer
-laundry washed, line-dried, and folded by someone else for less than a dollar
I'm sure I'll go through a million crises in the next few months, but I think I'll make it.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Bangkok
And here come the emotions I thought I was somehow free of.
Almost all 30 hours of travel time between Portland and Bangkok went well. No mishaps or late planes or lost luggage, nothing too confusing in the airports. I actually slept for 6 or 7 hours on my longest flight (13 and a half hours), which was great because I had the worst headache I've ever had, I think from the pressure in my sinuses (I have a cold). My ears were also plugged the whole time and I felt like I was in a tunnel. I really do love that time of transition; it makes me feel creative and intrigued by my surroundings.
Rung, my roommate for the next few months and one of the staff at Santisuk, met me at the airport. We've been skyping, and it was cool to get to meet her in person. She brought me back to the apartment, a little studio with white tile floor and a balcony that looks out onto a very Mombasa-like scene. Bangkok totally reminds me of Kenya...muggy, dirty, loud, crowded, colorful. I love it. Well, perhaps love is still a strong word at this point. Then she gave me a tour of Santisuk, a tall but cozy nice corner building just across the street from her place (there's a little pedestrian bridge to get there). I met a bunch of people, felt overwhelmed, went to this huge mall, felt overwhelmed, ate at the foodcourt at another mall, felt overwhelmed, went to this market, felt like I was in Mombasa and totally enjoyed it, and then came back to the apartment and cried for a while. I sat in on part of an evening class and then crashed a little before 9.
I'm so bombarded by emotions.... It's nice to be able to overlay everything with what I know about culture shock, giving myself room to freak out a little and know I'm not crazy, but it doesn't make it easier to be suddenly cut off from everything and everyone familiar. I wanted to call my parents and Isaac so many times and I couldn't. I don't get internet in the apartment (I'm using Rung's computer right now--she gets it through her phone). I've never felt so alone, even worse because everyone here is so together, so comfortable with each other. I didn't really think about what it would be like to live for four months in a place where I don't speak the language and most people outside of Santisuk don't speak English. I didn't think about a lot of things, I just dove in.
I feel a little bit like when Jeanie and I moved to Hawaii--overwhelmed by all the things we had to do to adjust, literally and emotionally. It would have been so easy to get buried under the weight of all of it, but we could push each other forward. Now there's no one, I have to push myself forward.... Or I guess I have to learn God really is enough and his strength will get me through anything. My faith has never been tested quite like this before.
Really, it could be worse, and I think about friends who go somewhere for a year, who don't have internet access at all (I can get wifi at Santisuk), who haven't lived overseas before.... I can deeply sympathize with them.
Anyway, I hope to eventually write more interesting things than how bummed I am, but it might be a little while.
Almost all 30 hours of travel time between Portland and Bangkok went well. No mishaps or late planes or lost luggage, nothing too confusing in the airports. I actually slept for 6 or 7 hours on my longest flight (13 and a half hours), which was great because I had the worst headache I've ever had, I think from the pressure in my sinuses (I have a cold). My ears were also plugged the whole time and I felt like I was in a tunnel. I really do love that time of transition; it makes me feel creative and intrigued by my surroundings.
Rung, my roommate for the next few months and one of the staff at Santisuk, met me at the airport. We've been skyping, and it was cool to get to meet her in person. She brought me back to the apartment, a little studio with white tile floor and a balcony that looks out onto a very Mombasa-like scene. Bangkok totally reminds me of Kenya...muggy, dirty, loud, crowded, colorful. I love it. Well, perhaps love is still a strong word at this point. Then she gave me a tour of Santisuk, a tall but cozy nice corner building just across the street from her place (there's a little pedestrian bridge to get there). I met a bunch of people, felt overwhelmed, went to this huge mall, felt overwhelmed, ate at the foodcourt at another mall, felt overwhelmed, went to this market, felt like I was in Mombasa and totally enjoyed it, and then came back to the apartment and cried for a while. I sat in on part of an evening class and then crashed a little before 9.
I'm so bombarded by emotions.... It's nice to be able to overlay everything with what I know about culture shock, giving myself room to freak out a little and know I'm not crazy, but it doesn't make it easier to be suddenly cut off from everything and everyone familiar. I wanted to call my parents and Isaac so many times and I couldn't. I don't get internet in the apartment (I'm using Rung's computer right now--she gets it through her phone). I've never felt so alone, even worse because everyone here is so together, so comfortable with each other. I didn't really think about what it would be like to live for four months in a place where I don't speak the language and most people outside of Santisuk don't speak English. I didn't think about a lot of things, I just dove in.
I feel a little bit like when Jeanie and I moved to Hawaii--overwhelmed by all the things we had to do to adjust, literally and emotionally. It would have been so easy to get buried under the weight of all of it, but we could push each other forward. Now there's no one, I have to push myself forward.... Or I guess I have to learn God really is enough and his strength will get me through anything. My faith has never been tested quite like this before.
Really, it could be worse, and I think about friends who go somewhere for a year, who don't have internet access at all (I can get wifi at Santisuk), who haven't lived overseas before.... I can deeply sympathize with them.
Anyway, I hope to eventually write more interesting things than how bummed I am, but it might be a little while.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Seattle
Who knew that someday I would be able to handle months of intense transition with very few emotional repercussions?
My life recently has consisted of moving from Hawaii, spending a couple weeks in Portland, taking the bus to Spokane for a few days, taking the bus to Seattle, flying home to Minnesota for a whirlwind weekend (btw, to my MN friends, I would have LOVED to see you and I'm sorry I had to keep it to mostly family. My dad had air miles and he flew me home to surprise my mom!), flying back to Seattle, and now getting ready to take the train back to Portland and then fly to Bangkok via San Francisco and Taipei in less than a week. Insane. Over the past year, I seem to have developed an ability to not think farther ahead than today and to let go of things--literally and emotionally--that I would have held onto or over-analyzed in the past. I think it's good...but also leaves me kind of flat and unmotivated at times.
The time in Seattle has been awesome! It's been fun spending time with both Isaac and his cousin Maile, exploring the BEAUTIFUL city (I think one of the most beautiful I've ever been in), getting things in place as far as grad school and Thailand go, and just beginning to develop a bit of normalcy and consistency in what's been mostly a long-distance relationship. It's incredibly hard to think about leaving. But I am genuinely excited for the challenges and beauty of living and working in Bangkok, and I'm excited for what's beyond, whatever that is.... I got to meet with the director of creative writing at UW, and I'm excited about the possibility of going either there or Eastern Washington. They both seem like solid programs. Not that this will help beat my 6% chance of getting in, but it was nice to make some personal connections with a few staff and faculty members there.
I have an album of Seattle pictures Maile took:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2045139&id=110900370&l=eaa0ef30c4
My life recently has consisted of moving from Hawaii, spending a couple weeks in Portland, taking the bus to Spokane for a few days, taking the bus to Seattle, flying home to Minnesota for a whirlwind weekend (btw, to my MN friends, I would have LOVED to see you and I'm sorry I had to keep it to mostly family. My dad had air miles and he flew me home to surprise my mom!), flying back to Seattle, and now getting ready to take the train back to Portland and then fly to Bangkok via San Francisco and Taipei in less than a week. Insane. Over the past year, I seem to have developed an ability to not think farther ahead than today and to let go of things--literally and emotionally--that I would have held onto or over-analyzed in the past. I think it's good...but also leaves me kind of flat and unmotivated at times.
The time in Seattle has been awesome! It's been fun spending time with both Isaac and his cousin Maile, exploring the BEAUTIFUL city (I think one of the most beautiful I've ever been in), getting things in place as far as grad school and Thailand go, and just beginning to develop a bit of normalcy and consistency in what's been mostly a long-distance relationship. It's incredibly hard to think about leaving. But I am genuinely excited for the challenges and beauty of living and working in Bangkok, and I'm excited for what's beyond, whatever that is.... I got to meet with the director of creative writing at UW, and I'm excited about the possibility of going either there or Eastern Washington. They both seem like solid programs. Not that this will help beat my 6% chance of getting in, but it was nice to make some personal connections with a few staff and faculty members there.
I have an album of Seattle pictures Maile took:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2045139&id=110900370&l=eaa0ef30c4
Monday, January 4, 2010
Portland
First, totally random side-note...Dubai is crazy:
World's Tallest Building
And also, my time in Portland is almost over! I'm not really sure how to summarize. It has been crazy busy; today is the first day I won't be out from early morning until late at night. Some highlights:
-Airport arrival, meeting Isaac and my parents late at night
-Christmas Eve with my dad's side of the family, Isaac getting in on all the traditions (pretty much opposite of the way he was raised)
-Christmas day dinner with Isaac's family (aunt and uncle and cousins and their fams)
-Snowshoeing on Mount Hood
-Spending a lot of time downtown (LOVE IT), exploring, eating, figuring out the bus system
-Jeanie visiting for two days
-Meeting up with Scott (he's from Grants Pass, OR) and having a Maui reunion in Portland
-New year's eve with the afore mentioned friends and my cousins Tasha, Ursula, and Narada, spontaneously joining them and Uncle Gary and Aunt Gloria for game night
-Driving to Seaside with Betsey and Uncle Willem and Aunt Carol, driving back (I was driving) through Portland's once annual snowfall (one-hour drive became five-hour drive)
-Briefly seeing Senia and Minda and fams (not long enough, as usual...)
I have pics of it all:
A Portland-y Holiday
On to Spokane on Wednesday (SOOOOOOOO pumped to see Wescombes and Grandma) and then to Seattle on the 11th.
World's Tallest Building
And also, my time in Portland is almost over! I'm not really sure how to summarize. It has been crazy busy; today is the first day I won't be out from early morning until late at night. Some highlights:
-Airport arrival, meeting Isaac and my parents late at night
-Christmas Eve with my dad's side of the family, Isaac getting in on all the traditions (pretty much opposite of the way he was raised)
-Christmas day dinner with Isaac's family (aunt and uncle and cousins and their fams)
-Snowshoeing on Mount Hood
-Spending a lot of time downtown (LOVE IT), exploring, eating, figuring out the bus system
-Jeanie visiting for two days
-Meeting up with Scott (he's from Grants Pass, OR) and having a Maui reunion in Portland
-New year's eve with the afore mentioned friends and my cousins Tasha, Ursula, and Narada, spontaneously joining them and Uncle Gary and Aunt Gloria for game night
-Driving to Seaside with Betsey and Uncle Willem and Aunt Carol, driving back (I was driving) through Portland's once annual snowfall (one-hour drive became five-hour drive)
-Briefly seeing Senia and Minda and fams (not long enough, as usual...)
I have pics of it all:
A Portland-y Holiday
On to Spokane on Wednesday (SOOOOOOOO pumped to see Wescombes and Grandma) and then to Seattle on the 11th.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
One Year and Two Weeks Later
We made it, can you believe it? Tomorrow I leave Maui!
The last few days have been really good. I've said goodbye to almost everyone at church, spent some time with Uncle Kaleo (the pastor) and Auntie Shelly, hung out with a few friends and coworkers, closed my bank account and p.o. box, took the bus around a lot, wrote a bunch of letters.... Holly is visiting, so we got to talk to her for a while. She's freaking awesome. It feels like things have come full circle, since she was not only the one who got us started on Maui but was also here during our first month. I've been able to get good closure with the different groups I've been a part of over the past year.Last night there was a goodbye party at the Lodge with all our work-trade family. I really dislike parties, but this one was fun--comfortable, people we know well, and no one got (very) drunk. We got to meet our replacement, Courtney, and she's cool. It's kind of nice knowing who will be moving into our beloved little shack when we go.
Today Jeanie and I walked on the beach one last time with Luisa and Sarina, went to breakfast with a gift card from Rick, and spent a few hours cleaning our place thoroughly and packing. I have to say, I am a great packer. There aren't a lot of abilities I feel comfortable bragging about, but packing is one of them. I think because it's so symbolic of my personality and interests, I get excited about it and take pride in it :)
Mixed emotions. Excited, nostalgic, a little sad...nothing too dramatic, though. Maybe I'm getting better at transitioning. I can't believe I'm going to see my family and Isaac TOMORROW.
The last few days have been really good. I've said goodbye to almost everyone at church, spent some time with Uncle Kaleo (the pastor) and Auntie Shelly, hung out with a few friends and coworkers, closed my bank account and p.o. box, took the bus around a lot, wrote a bunch of letters.... Holly is visiting, so we got to talk to her for a while. She's freaking awesome. It feels like things have come full circle, since she was not only the one who got us started on Maui but was also here during our first month. I've been able to get good closure with the different groups I've been a part of over the past year.Last night there was a goodbye party at the Lodge with all our work-trade family. I really dislike parties, but this one was fun--comfortable, people we know well, and no one got (very) drunk. We got to meet our replacement, Courtney, and she's cool. It's kind of nice knowing who will be moving into our beloved little shack when we go.
Today Jeanie and I walked on the beach one last time with Luisa and Sarina, went to breakfast with a gift card from Rick, and spent a few hours cleaning our place thoroughly and packing. I have to say, I am a great packer. There aren't a lot of abilities I feel comfortable bragging about, but packing is one of them. I think because it's so symbolic of my personality and interests, I get excited about it and take pride in it :)
Mixed emotions. Excited, nostalgic, a little sad...nothing too dramatic, though. Maybe I'm getting better at transitioning. I can't believe I'm going to see my family and Isaac TOMORROW.
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