Joy

Ah, I finally feel like I am surfacing from darkness and it is so good to be free and happy again, after a solid two or three months of dealing with this thing (which I realize I've been super vague about) nearly constantly. It's freeness and happiness in a much deeper way than I've felt before, and I've learned SO much that I know I'm not even the same person.

The last few days have been full of...experience. I'm going to try not to get too philosophical and emotional, I'll just say that a new level of life is opening up on Maui, maybe because of how I've changed, maybe because I'm truly finding a sense of belonging and connection to people, maybe because I'm learning a new culture (and I love new cultures!). Life has so many layers, which often require a painful peeling back in order to find new beauty beneath.

So anyway. Been hanging out with people pretty much all the time lately, which is good (relationships are good), but hard (I like to be alone sometimes). This is SUCH a community-oriented society, maybe because there is a lot of Asian cultural influence. I’ll try to summarize:

-We went on another amazing hike, this one requiring us to climb up fairly high, slippery waterfalls, some with ropes, and then jump down them on the way back. Intense.

-We visited our friend Josh's "bungalow," which is a tent illegally hidden in a macadamia nut field (I SO want to do it too).

-We went night swimming again under a full moon, and the water was so clear you could see the shadows playing across your feet.

-I chilled all day Sunday—hung out with Micah, had lunch with his parents (who are super cool!), got asked out TWICE at Border’s by that NASTY 60-year old man (who wanted me to go take pictures with him at night…………………….I DON’T get it; it’s not like I’m at all even nice to him, what in the WORLD could he POSSIBLY be thinking??????????), and “communicated” with Jose Zee (who wanted to see if he could learn anything from me—or my soul?—by staring into my eyes. It was SUPER awkward and I think he was disappointed. Apparently my soul doesn’t want to open up to him).

-I’ve started going to the church where “Brook guys” go (OK, so I’m not trying to be annoying and elitist by using Hawaii jargon or anything, this is just a term that makes so much sense to me and simplifies things. Instead of listing people’s names or saying “so-and-so and his friends,” you just say the name of the person you mainly associate with a place or group, in this case the first person I met, and then say “guys”). It meets in a carpet warehouse and pretty much everyone is around my age.

-We explored Wailuku, this town that somehow reminds me of Mombasa, with Isaac, who lives there. Walked around, ate at a bakery, climbed some trees, sat in a park, chilled in this sweet coffee shop and did some writing. I’m excited to have friends who not only meet me but surpass me on a creative level. Isaac is a poet and an incredibly deep thinker, and we’ve had some amazing conversations and points of connection. Later, he brought Jeanie and me to his grandma’s farm, which was so beautiful I can’t even express it. Tangles of banana plants, palms, pamello trees; a rocky stream; three old wooden houses built into a hill; a stunning view of the West Maui Mountains almost within reach on one side and the volcano in the distance on the other. I wanted nothing more than to be a kid again and grow up there.

Phew, I guess those are the most exciting things from the past few days. Getting deeper insight into other’s experiences has sparked this intense need for me to write, for some reason. It’s like I want to take a tiny piece of the fullness and richness of other people’s lives and somehow fit it into my own.

Oh, one more thing—David is leaving on Friday for almost a month, going back to Colorado. Things have been pretty hard for him here, without a steady job and with some plans that aren’t working out, and he’s actually not sure he’ll come back. He and Jeanie are my family, and it’s impossible to think about losing either of them. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned, too, that Micah is going to school in California in the fall, and Isaac is planning to move to Seattle (or Africa, or the Middle East). It makes me a little sick to anticipate the absence of those I’m getting closest to. That’s Maui life—that restlessness and transience is what bonds us all as well as separates us.

Oh, I lied, ONE more thing: I got a compliment from awkward Evan today, too. He told me "Oh, those are interesting earrings! Yeah, they're really...."