Poverty

I'm almost done reading The End of Poverty. I have to admit, I skipped a big section in the middle in order to get the Africa chapter, and I have been skimming some of the parts that are boring to me (repeat "GDP" and "$" too often and I'm lost), but overall it's been eye-opening. It also makes me realize how much I love the idea of nations coming together despite differences to solve global problems. I want desperately to be some kind of mediator, to use my writing to voice needs to those who can help. It's incredibly frustrating to think of how comfortable a lot of the wealthy are in their wealth...how apathetic and unaware and selfish. Yet what right do I have to be angry? What do I do with what I've been given?

This was one of the craziest statistics in the book:

In 2000, the combined income of four African countries (Botswana, Nigeria, Senegal, and Uganda--chosen because Bush visited them in 2003)--161,365,000 people--was $57 billion. In the same year, the income of the 400 wealthiest Americans was $69 billion. Even taking into account the fact that a US dollar goes further in Africa than it does in the US, there is no way to justify this extreme gap. It makes me ill to think about it, and strangely it also seems hopeful--to think that the resources exist to improve and save millions of lives, if only the wealthy are willing to sacrifice a TINY bit. I had no idea there were such straightforward, practical, and relatively inexpensive plans to eliminate extreme poverty in only a couple decades--I guess the issue lies in moving people to act on them.

Hm, I could go on for quite a while, but I'll leave it at that. It's a really good book.

Completely Totally Overwhelmed and Exhausted and Drained

THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME

to...

think
work
maintain communication with friends all over the country and world
develop relationships with people in Maui
have a boyfriend
be involved in a church
take writing seriously
apply to volunteer in Thailand
exercise
hike
go to the beach
learn anything new
read...my bible, poetry, fiction, nonfiction, articles
research, organize, and plan for the present and future
stay updated on world news
watch movies
go to coffee shops
cook
save money
buy a new laptop
sort through and get rid of what I don't need
volunteer
make lists
be excited, nostaligic, optimistic, or sad
enjoy Maui while I'm still here
remember things
take breaks for the sake of sanity
be alone
decide which of these things are unimportant enough to give up

It's so frustrating I just want to cry and give up on it all. Instead of doing anything, I waste my time blogging about it.

The beginning of the end

I am a control freak. I either just realized this or I continue to forget it, because I surprised myself yesterday by figuring out the reason I am frequently overcome with anxiety (seriously, it's like every two or three months I freak out) is that I can't control things. I stress out because so much of my future--all of it, really--is out of my hands. I can set plans in motion, but I can't predict what exactly will happen. So. Deep breath. Let go.

Life is good. I am anxious, I overthink things, work is monotonous, my mind is turning to mush with disuse, I'm ready to leave yet scared about the future, three of my closest friends (Isaac, David, and Micah) are gone...but somehow it's good. I never want to take now for granted and miss out on what's right in front of me. Even though I feel like I'm in a holding pattern, just waiting to leave Maui, there is SO much to be grateful for: this is paradise, after all--there is still endless adventuring to be done and bays to swim in and sun to bask in; Jeff fixed our brakes AGAIN, costing us $100 instead of $1000 (or really, a new car); there are more friends to get to know and fascinating people to meet; I can walk half a block to Minit Stop and get spam musubi any time I want.... Really, I have absolutely nothing to complain about.

Maui: Phase Three

Kara had her baby!!!!!!! Samuel Greggory Wu. :) :) :) I am an auntie.... I haven't talked to her since right after he was born, so I'm dying to catch up more, hopefully this weekend.

Things have been crazy here. And by that I mean I've had a limited existence because I've been working my butt off and spending every free second with Isaac. Having him leave for Seattle a few weeks after we started dating isn't the most ideal situation, but it has been good (though exhausting) to get used to being in a relationship while we had the chance to actually be together. Now we have to figure out this long-distance thing and eagerly look forward to seeing each other this winter :)

So, what have we been doing? We had dinner with his family (intimidating but it ended up being fun. His mom is Filipino--though third generation Hawaiian--and she made yummy Filipino food), ate lunch with his cousin/best friend Maile, went hiking with Josh and Brady.... We've hung out in all these crazy romantic settings--cliffs overlooking the ocean, waterfalls, sunsets and full moons, crystal clear water full of turtles, patios lit by tiki torches and strings of lights--it almost makes me laugh because it's so ridiculously surreal. I don't feel like I'm in a dream or anything, though, because our relationship is very grounded. We have a solid friendship, realistic expectations, complete awareness of and guarding against the possibility of getting carried away with each other. I'm excited that he's pursuing what God is calling him to (going to school in Seattle, getting involved in a community there. He wants to study economics and whatever will help him learn about community organizing), and I also want to plan for my future by figuring out how God wants me to use my writing. Anyway, he left early this morning, and I miss him A LOT. Which sucks but is good--I'd worry if I didn't miss him. My time in Maui is definitely shifting in a new direction once again; feels like a third phase.

Speaking of plans, here's my tentative plan (made keeping in mind James 4: "Now listen, you who say, today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."): Live in Maui until December, trying to stay involved in the community here, finding some writing/editing projects, researching grad school options; spend Christmas in Portland and then a month or so in Portland/Spokane/Seattle; volunteer as an English teacher in Thailand for a couple months; visit Minnesota next summer; pack up my stuff and drive it in my new car (i.e. my parents' old car) back to the West Coast, and live/work/go to school (?) there. All very vague, but it makes me feel good to have SOME idea.

Our brakes are going out again. The brake pedal is so soft that once you come to a stop, it slowly depresses all the way to the floor and then gives out, so that unless you throw it into park really fast, you'd keep rolling. Sometimes it works to pump the brake, too, but that doesn't allow for a very quick or clean stop. I'm a little worried.

Here's a pic of me and Isaac. He's pretty cute, I guess ;)

Probably the most boring way I could have shared this awesome news

Man...not really sure what to say. What a great beginning to a blog entry.

I guess the teaser in the last post wasn't fair. I just wanted to wait until it was official to say that Isaac and I are dating! So exciting and weird and scary and amazing! It's too new of an experience (first boyfriend!) and I'm too shy to put any details on here, but it's definitely a huge event, so I had to at least mention it :) Now I'm even MORE bummed that he's leaving soon and trying to spend even MORE time with him.

So obviously that's made me really busy...yet it seems so dull to list the things I've been up to. Hiking on the volcano, swimming, snorkeling, stargazing, working, barbecuing (woah, barbecue...barbeque...both correct), talking, thinking about the future, eating, listening to music. Cool.

Photos

The bad news: Doogie, my dog for the last ten years, died. He'd been really sick for a month or two and the vets couldn't figure out what was wrong, and nothing was working to make him better. He got to the point where he wasn't even drinking anymore, and the best option was to put him to sleep. Honestly, I can't believe I can write all that without breaking down and sobbing--I think I am so far removed from it that it has yet to sink in. Once I go back to Minneapolis, I'm sure I'll bawl for days.

The good news: Hehe, I might just have to wait a little while to share that....

Click the photo to see my updated album:

Big Changes

Saturday morning I kicked a bum off our front steps. I woke at 8 a.m. after six hours of sleep to a text from Retha saying we had to work after all, even though we thought we had the day off and could go on this hike with our friends. As I slowly gained consciousness, I encountered the unpleasant smell of cigarette smoke pouring into our room. I looked out the window to find a guy smoking and drinking a beer and coughing on our stoop. So I got up, flung the door open, and said, "Excuse me, could you please NOT sit on our stoop?" He looked pretty startled, since I doubt he realized somone lived in the shack where he likes to chill after a sleepless Friday night. Don't mess with me in the morning.

It feels like things are changing a lot, but at the same time, not much has "happened." We have this rutted routine and as far as news goes, I've got hardly any. I'll try.

David is back. But not sure if he's going to stay.

Isaac is leaving at the end of July and Micah in early August, I think. I don't like to think about it...I've gotten so close to Isaac especially and I'm going to miss him so much. He is moving to Seattle, so at least I might be able to see him when I go to Portland for Christmas.

So we've all been trying to hang out as much as possible while we still can:

-We went on this intense bike ride, uphill for a couple miles, then around Makawao, this town upcountry, then downhill for like five miles, then through a sugar cane field, then along the ocean. I am so pathetically out of shape. Isaac is a crazy ball of energy and sometimes doesn't realize others aren't quite up to the same level of activity.

-Thursday Micah brough a cheramoya for us all to try--this really sweet fruit that turns out to be the same thing as a custard apple in Kenya. Then at night a bunch of us went to Black Rock, a lava rock that juts out into the ocean and is fun to jump off. I can't get enough of the outdoor stuff you can do here, day or night.

-Friday Isaac came up to Paia and we were going to explore that really old haunted sugar mill we tried to go to with Brook a long time ago (but that time there were people there already and we got scared). On our way, we stopped at this Bon Festival at the Buddhist temple. It seemed to be a big thing and we were curious. Turns out it's a celebration in honor of the dead and it goes on every weekend all summer. There was cool dancing and music and food. We ran into Brook, and he came with us to the mill. Which was awesome! Pitch black cane fields, old crumbled walls, vines and massive trees taking over everything. We climbed stuff and freaked each other out. I love that kind of adventure. We hung out at our place afterwards and talked and played guitar and discovered it's hilarious to throw things into the ceiling fan and watch them shoot out.

-Last night Sarah came over and we had a girls night. Walked to the beach; made chocolate chip pancakes and no-bake cookies; went to the Bon Festival again with Sarina, the 15-year old daughter of one of our Paia work-trade friends; watched P.S. I Love You.

I guess the biggest news is that Jeanie and I talked and realized we were both thinking about leaving Maui sooner than planned. I know she's been antsy for a while, and though I don't feel exactly the same way, I do feel more of a pull to leave than to stay. My hopes for my time in Maui have been overwhelmingly exceeded already, and I can't see the point of staying another year just to follow this same unmotivating routine when there's so much more I want to do. Getting close to people who are picking up and leaving to pursue their dreams has encouraged me to think seriously about what I really want for my future. So right now the plan is to leave in December instead of next summer, which means we'll have been here for a year, nothing to be ashamed of. Jeanie wants to go back to school for nursing. I'd still apply for grad school, then do some kind of overseas volunteer/work thing (in Africa?) until school started, provided I got in and still wanted to go. I'm excited to think of the endless options I have, but I know the stress of trying to choose the "right" thing lies ahead of me. If anyone has any ideas for me, let me know!